Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Virtue of Singleness

I was mulling over ideas for this post when, like a bolt from the blue, I stumbled upon this verisimilitude of my current thinking…well, not literally. The fact is, I’m happily single, unencumbered and loving it. Please don’t misunderstand, I'm quite sure that healthy unions exist. My parents were married for 43 years, before my mother succumbed to breast cancer in the summer of 2004.

The phenomenon that I wish to explore here, however, is sustained solitude. Although I’ve only been "legally divorced" since June '04, I’ve been delightfully "alone" since late '03...after thirteen years of marriage. No, the separation was not an attempt to reconcile, but rather a period of pragmatic discovery. I actually managed to serve as my own legal council in the divorce proceedings. This without formal training in law. As it happens, the "office supply" chains sell fill-in-the-blank legal forms. However, such are useless in the event of a contest, which was not something I had to worry with. Whew. Yeah, I married a complete waste…so-to-speak. I now have legal and physical custody of my three kids and I couldn’t be more pleased. I did have to familiarize myself with the Law Library at the local Courthouse. If nothing else, I got an education and my total legal bill was $65.

Having dispensed with the particulars, let’s move to the issue at hand…the joy of singleness. The ability to live without coordinating with an overly hormonal companion is, in a word, liberating. Now I’m certainly no sexist, it’s just that, at this point in my life, the cost of maintaining a relationship far outweighs the benefits…yes, those benefits. Look guys, it’s all about will power. At least that’s what I tell myself. Oddly enough, I plan to remain single for the duration of my life; or at least until my kids enter college. When the youngest of which graduates from high school, I be forty years old. Perhaps then my thinking will be different, but I sure hope not.