Know Thyself
Donald J. Hagen sent me a link to his political parody, which is pretty amusing. Here’s a small sampling:Key to abbreviations in test questions that follow:
CONS: Conservative (Archconservative)
LIBL: Liberal (Leftwing Wacko)
LBRT: Libertarian (Antigovernment Libertine)
COMM: Communist (Commie Sympathizer)
1: Government's practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...
CONS: a crime.
LIBL: a brave, generous and heroic deed.
LBRT: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
COMM: an inspiration to us all.
5: What is your favorite quotation?
CONS: "The entire graduated income tax system structure was created by Karl Marx," by Ronald Reagan.
LIBL: "Taxes are the price we pay for civilization," by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
LBRT: "In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another," by Voltaire.
COMM: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need," by Karl Marx.
10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONS: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LBRT: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can leave.
COMM: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can be made an example of.
18: We need to get government...
CONS: out of the boardroom, and to loosen government's stranglehold on America's businesses.
LIBL: out of the bedroom, and to loosen government's stranglehold on America's genitals.
LBRT: all of the above.
COMM: none of the above.
21: How would you define the word "profit"?
CONS: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
LIBL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
LBRT: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
COMM: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees.
posted by Robert @ Sunday, February 26, 2006
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